Evening Service: Traveling with our Gluten-free Pyx

It’s Sunday morning and we just decided to go to the evening contemporary mass. Since our parish does not offer an evening service we are trying to decide whether to go to Lady of the Lake or St. Ignatius. One is a contemplative service (which mom is voting for) and the other is a Life Teen mass (which Nate and Emily vote for).

I think I am out numbered.

We’ve come a long way. Years ago, when Nate was first receiving Eucharist, his low-gluten wafer was unique. Popping in to a new parish meant showing up early or calling a day in advance to explain the situation. Now, even if we have a visiting priest, we can arrive a quarter of an hour in advance, meet with the priest, and then slip into church for a quiet meditative moment before mass.

How does this conversation usually go? Now that Nate is 12, according to him, 12 years-8 months-and 12 days, we have been encouraging him to initiate the interaction. It still takes a bit of courage, occasional role playing, and then a “you-can-do-this” speech.

“Hello, Father. My name is Nate. I am gluten intolerant and I have brought my pyx with a low gluten wafer. I was hoping to have it consecrated at mass so I can receive both the body and blood.”

Either one of two things happens at this point, either the priest responds with a story of experience with low-gluten wafers, or the priest queries as he has never experienced this situation. As the years go by, fewer priests are unaware of the low-gluten wafers most of them now want to have an address of where to locate the wafers for other parishioners.

At this point, I usually get the elbow nudge. In a whispered panicked voice, Nate will cry, “MOM!” It’s my turn to step in. It’s a slow process to coach the communicant and educate the presider. As Nate grows in confidence, I am sure he will initiate more of the information when we visit new parishes, as it is now, I want Nate to feel welcome and excited about receiving eucharist.

Our home parish priest has set up a routine with Nate. No matter where we sit, Nate gets into line for Father, and then receives his low-gluten host from our pyx. (Prior to church, we laid the low-gluten wafer loaded pyx on the side table for the alter servers to deliver to the altar at the appointed time.) Quietly, the priest snaps the pyx closed and hands it back to Nate, who then pockets it and proceeds to the line waiting for the cup. This is Nate’s preferred mode of receiving. He feels like no one know he is different. No one singles him out from the rest.

Visiting a local parish when I was called to interpret for a special signed mass for the Deaf community, the priest made a big deal of walking down to Nate, giving him his host before anyone else received. All eyes were on Nate. From the front, looking down into the congregation, I saw Nate sink lower and lower into the pew. His face became a few shades redder, and his eyes darted up to mine with humility. After mass, Nate exclaimed in frustration that he was not old or invalid. He never wanted to receive eucharist that way, ever again.

When visiting a parish that the priest has experience with low-gluten hosts, we usually follow the tradition of this parish. Sometimes this means approaching the priest, receiving a blessing, circling the priest to take the pyx off the altar and proceeding to the cup. Other times, it is a matter of waiting until the very end, and going up as one of the last, so that the priest can step back to the altar and pick up the pyx for Nathan.

For either of our choices tonight, after a brief word with the priest, Nathan will be able to walk with our family, no matter where we sit, and receive Christ in the bread and the wine. It is an amazing blessing. I am thankful that we live in a time that congregations, priests, and a cloistered group of sisters understand the importance for everyone to be welcome to receive the sacrament of the Eucharist.

Gluten Free Family Meals

So, does your husband eat gluten-free with the rest of your family?

I am asked this question so very often.  Much of what we eat as a family is naturally gluten free; salads, fruit, stir-fry, potatoes, rice & bean dishes, and soups; however, there is the pasta issue.  No matter what pasta I have cooked, it doesn't quite have the same texture as the wheat noodle.  Thus, spaghetti style dishes result in two pans of boiling water, two pasta ladles, two strainers, two serving bowls, and tons of leftovers.  I've learned to cook two different shaped noodles to keep straight which noodle is which.   I am so thankful that my husband, Rick, jumped right on board and has been so supportive of the gluten-free diet and lifestyle changes that come with having a child that is celiac.  

Early on we knew something was not quite right.  Our happy child, a cheerful toddler of two, traveled with us on a family vacation through Europe to visit family and friends.  We worshiped in grand cathedrals and small parishes throughout Germany.  Lit candles in Notre Dame, Paris.  We spent hours circling castles, museums, and churches inside and out.   Many of my friends with toddlers could barely get through a homily in our home parish, and here Nate sat through masses and tours.  Nate was all for the experience.  I think Nate found this all one grand scavenger hunt and just enjoyed searching for the German stone-carved lions; everywhere we went we found the grand beast guarding gates and doorways.  

Two weeks after returning, Nate became increasingly sick.  Grey-green complexion, constant diarrhea, and an immediate change in temperament and personality.  No happy child, rather, one that was irritable and angry with the world.  Family and friends pointed to our parenting or congratulated us that our child had skipped the "two's" and arrived at the "terrible three's".  

Several months later, a series of events led us to the diagnosis of gluten intolerance.  At that time, we also removed all dairy from his diet, hoping that after healing from the gluten free diet, he might reintroduce dairy to his diet with success.  Within days, Nate's gut was beginning to heal.  His bowel issues resolved, his skin returned to a healthier pink, and his constant irritability lessened.  

Years later, I was asked if I had prayed for Nate to be healed of Celiac Disease.  I don't think it ever crossed my mind.  Pray for Nate to be healed from gluten intolerance? Allergies have always been a part of my life, from a toddler-aged anaphylactic reaction to aspirin, to a 48-hour stomach-convulsing response to seafood as a youth.  I just assumed this was an idiosyncrasy of our family gene pool.

I do remember praying for patience and direction.  Before the diagnosis I needed lots of patience to get through the days that were filled with a crying and frustrated child.  After the diagnosis, my prayer energy was directed towards praying for myself and making it through each experimental meal, each gluten free scavenger (grocery) shopping trip, and each pain-induced toddler tantrum.  

I realize that I still don't pray for a miraculous healing for Nate.  Everyone has their cross to bear; this is Nate's, this is mine, this is our family's.  Instead, I have prayed for support, patience, and understanding. For some reason, my prayers have not been focused on eliminating the disorder.   In one way, my prayers have been answered, through the easy acceptance of our new lifestyle, through close friendships that have developed with supportive celiac friends, and with compassion for helping Nate travel through childhood with a positive attitude.