PIZZA (Gluten Free): The staple diet of every youth group.

By now I should know that I don't even need to ask a Catholic youth group what they want to eat at a youth group function.  There is always and only one answer, "PIZZA!".  Every youth group that I have been involved in has the same menu, just a different source. 

Some like the fast, phone-in order pizzas from Pizza Hut or Godfathers.  Other groups enjoy baking their own from the local take-and-bake chain, Papa Murphy.  One group just wanted to pick up grocery store pre-made pizzas to pop in the oven.  The type varies slightly, but usually we have the cheese-only crowd, the pepperoni-only group, a veggie lover's crew, and gotta-have-lots-a-meat team.

We've entered our second year of youth group with Nate.  The first year I was busy with other events on our parish campus; daughter Emily had her own activities in the school building, only twenty yards from the youth room.  This year, Nate is going to be on his own for the 90 minutes of youth group as Emily's group is meeting on another night of the week.  Nate's diet is becoming more and more his own monitoring; less and less am I informed in advance about special pizza nights or pot-luck snack events.

I've had a year to prepare for this new independence and time to ask friends in other churches for suggestions.  One friend just doesn't allow their teenage child out of sight for any such events and has given strict rules to never eat anything unless the parent has verified the gluten-free purity of the food.  In short, unless it comes from their kitchen, the teen is never allowed any other foods.  This is a bit too strict for our family.  Our goal is to encourage Nate to be responsible for all food that enters his body, whether we are present or not.  This has been a gradual increase of independence.  In their strict regimented diet, I am concerned about it becoming the battle point in some late-teen or early adulthood rebellion.

On the other extreme, not a healthy one, another friend just allows her celiac child to eat whatever is present, "One day a week of forbidden foods will help keep him on the diet for the other six days.".  This is not a healthy option for Nate, as with gluten foods he stopped growing and Nate really hopes to pass his dad in height.  Philosophically this approach does not match our belief, Nate is still learning to make choices in the midst of his peers and under peer pressure.  We want him, in many different scenarios, to make the statement that he will choose what is best for his body, mind, and soul, even if it is different from the group.  Practicing this with something familiar to him, like gluten-free foods, is just a small rehearsal for the big issues that will come along in the future.

For the earlier years of Religious Education, we kept a box of gluten-free snacks for "emergency" snack raids.  A surprise special birthday celebration for a classmate would bring thick-frosted-gooey cupcakes to class; out comes Nate's special gluten-free snack box for a chocolate treat.  The solution for us in youth group has been to create a freezer box of a couple gluten-free pizzas and a quick microwaveable meal.  (Special treats!  We make everything from scratch at home, so things in cardboard that just need heating seem like the royal treatment.)

Nate knows how to read labels for chips and candy; and he makes great choices, keeping a good balance of sugars, carbs, and proteins.  There seems to be a regular appearance of popcorn at youth group nights, something that Nate knows to gravitate towards.  However, occasionally something different comes, a nacho dip, corn dog dippers, sub-sandwiches, or cheese and crackers.  It's on these nights that Nate has the hardest time.  He's hungry, the choices are limited or non existent.  A once-and-a-while fasting until he reaches home is tolerable, but a regular weekly fast from the community gathering around the snack table seems to be a sentence for starvation for a young male teenager.

Personally, I feel that being celiac should not be a trial of deprivation.   Others need to know that we want to be aware of special event; we would like to bring fresh gluten-free pizza or gluten-free cookies. Nate's does not need to regularly go without,  but neither do I need to become the gluten-free martyr, "It is SUCH  a hassle to bring gluten-free foods.  Why doesn't anyone ever remember to bring gluten-free foods?  Nate is special and should get first choice through the line before the gluten-free foods are gone."

I have to admit, that even though I do not voice these complaints aloud at the event, I have felt them and in a private moment gripped to close friends and my husband.  My voice has whined.  I have groaned as walked into a youth group meeting to see pizza boxes ready to be served.  I have counted to ten, knowing that a positive comment to encourage advanced warning would make it easier for me to provide options for Nate.  Nate is the first in a long string of celiac kids, coming through the parish.  The need for gluten-free options is not going to disappear after Nate graduates.  Maybe I am just the forerunner and carving the path for the families to follow.  My attitude and time invested to share, will make it easier for the others coming up in another year.  My attitude will make it easier for the other parents when they make requests.

The youth group leader at our parish has been really wonderful.  She tries to remember to give me a schedule of special food events.  She has a place for Nate's special snacks.  On a recent pizza feed, she ordered pizza from a more expensive source so that everyone had pizza from the same boxes.  Food is a common place for all communities to gather, teenagers are no exception.  It is her extra effort that allows Nate to belong and not to feel like the outsider.  

Being a Catholic Youth Group, the center of their lives is Christ and the center of the Mass is the Eucharist.  Being able to gather around the snack table and not feel excluded may not seem significant to an adult, but to a teenager, partaking and enjoying pizza (gluten and gluten-free) with friends means you belong, you are in communion with your friends.  For Nate, being able to gather with his friends at the altar and share in the Lord's Supper, with a low-gluten wafer, is a moment to be part of the Body of Christ, to belong to the Catholic community.

Six Wishes for First Eucharist Preparation

Our First Eucharist Preparation year ended with a wonderful celebration mass with Fr. Adams.  The beginning of the year was not so smooth, and as other Catholic celiac families ask me for hints, I have started coming up with a wish-list of things I wish I had thought of before the preparation year and things for the special day.

1.  Welcoming first impression.  

My first suggestion for going through First Eucharist with a Celiac child, would be to start the year out with a simple home lesson to talk about the coming special year.  Nate and I had this conversation, but only after a mini incident at R.E. happened.  After years of making "wheat" the bad guy that makes you sick, we entered a year of banners of wheat shafts, loaves of bread, and much imagery of how special bread is to eat.  All of a sudden, Nathan wanted to be part of this incredibly delicious feast he was hearing about, yet his experiences with wheat were pain and discomfort.  What a mixed image and message.  

Each family addresses the gluten issue in different ways, often depending on the age of gluten-free onset.  For us, Nate was very young and had never really remembered the "wheat days."  Our chat was to focus away from the strong emphasis of the wheat and grapes, and to focus on the host and wine, or to examine Christ's Body and Blood lessons.  When all of the other kids made banners of wheat and grapes, Nate made pictures of the host and the chalice of wine. We were careful as I did not want to implant the idea that the wheat was being replaced, as Catholics we do not replace with rice or other grain wafers.

2. Snacks.  

I wish there was some way to know ahead of time when a parent was planning to surprise the class with birthday cupcakes or a special treat.  Nate is a good sport, but he too wishes to be part of the event, and a "special treat" from my purse is not exactly the same as a fluffy frosted cupcake with a magic ring stuck in the top.  I let the teachers and director know that we wanted to be aware of special food days, but I should have also let the parents know that I would bring replacement items, or provide a list of specific foods that would be acceptable for gluten free eaters.  

Short and simple gluten-free information and educational note:

  

"Nate is gluten intolerant (Celiac) and would love to be included in special food events.  Please call me at home, and I would be happy to bring equivalent foods.  If you wish to bring gluten-free items here are a few suggestions:

   Any fruit and vegetables.  

Glutano or Pamela cookies found in the Health Food section at our local grocery stores.  

Ice cream is a great gluten-free addition to your special cake.  Ice cream cups or Umqua, Breyers, Tillamook Brand of vanilla ice cream are gluten-free.  (Ice cream cakes don't work as they usually have cake and ice cream touching.)

Thank you so much for helping to include Nathan in your special event."  

3.  Priest.  

Our local parish priest was not interested in celebrating with a low-gluten host; he had never heard of such a thing.  I brought in the paper from the American Bishops and he still was not convinced that this was approved.  The priest from our second parish, the parish I work at, was very familiar and willing.  Nathan ended up having his retreat with these children and receiving his First Eucharist with Fr. Adams at a different parish than our own.  It was the day that was special, Eucharist was the focus; the group pictures and friends were not the center of our day. Our god-parents and extended family came with us to help make this a really special Christ-filled day.

4.  Retreat Day.  

I wish that there was some way for the kids to make a simple version of wine at the retreat as well as the little loaves of bread.  Surely, there is a wine making kit!  Our Religious Education director does a wonderful job talking about how bread was made at the time of the Last Supper, how we make bread today, where the ingredients are found in nature (sugar could come from honey/bees etc.), and where we can find them in modern stores.  Being an educator, I love to make things hands-on for my students.  Nate is a great sport, he willingly watched from the side, but to do it over, I would search out this additional activity.

5.  Instruction

I wish that one of the teachers had been a bit more careful when telling the class, "If you don't eat the host, you are going to die, and never live again."  (John 6) Granted, I know what she meant spiritually, but for a young celiac child, her lesson was taken very literal and immediate.  In Nate's mind, if he doesn't eat the host, he might not make it to his next birthday, to Cub Scouts, to Christmas, to the baseball season.  Much of our music and liturgy is focused on "Eating the Bread of Life."  Yet for a child with celiac, eating the regular host, is not physically life-giving, but life-draining.  

With a little explanation, or use of some of the other scripture references in the gospels, the emphasis can be on "eating the Body, becoming alive in Christ, life everlasting with spiritual communion."  It has become important for us to express how receiving the Blood of Christ from the cup, is equal and as valid when received alone or when received with the low-gluten wafer.  On those Sundays or situations when the host is not available, Nate use to express how he didn't feel it was complete.  During his Eucharist preparation year, I never talked about situations when he could not receive his low gluten host, such as when no wine was present in a communion service or situations when the wine runs out.  Since then, I have tried sharing situations when non-celiacs receive spiritual communion when they are unable to receive Eucharist (ie. communicable illness, one of the elements runs out, parent with screaming child pacing the breezeway, a person avoiding alcohol, or a homebound Catholic listening to mass on the radio).

6.  The reception.  

I wish I had the gift of making a pretty cake, or knew of a cake store for gluten free specialty cakes.  Nate did enjoy the fruit platter, the fruit punch, and the cookies we brought along for the event.  There are just enough times in life that he watches from the side or substitutes with a gluten-free alternative that this could have been one of those opportunities to bless the event with something special and similar to everyone else's.

 For Nate's recent confirmation, I did make a round two tiered cake (from a gluten free mix) with frosting.  Younger sister, Emily, and I wrote a special message for him with a cake decorating tool that she had received at Christmas.  (Finally, someone in our family will know how to frost a cake!)

Having gone through this so intimately with a family member, I really have a desire to make the  lessons and experiences accessible.  These suggestions are a few that I continue to offer to our parish and to other families going through this special year.  

May these bless another child and help to create a truly holy and wonderful celebration mass.